So, it has been awhile since I have written on here. My apologies. It is not because God has not continued to show me new things, though. I actually have lots to share. The last few weeks, Casting Crown's new song, "Somewhere in the Middle" has really spoken to me. God really uses music to challenge me in my walk with him. Check it out -

"Somewhere In The Middle"
Casting Crowns, The Altar and the Door

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

Wow. Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control. I think this line should be added to the American Christian's creed. (there is no such thing, in case you were wondering) Isn't this our typical cry, though? God, I want to serve you whole heartedly as long as it is comfortable and convenient for me to do so. Oh yeah, and as long as you clue me in on what the plan is. One more thing, I need to think it is a good plan, too.



MY SURRENDER - I had never really thought of it in these terms. Things are implied with these two simple words. Ownership is implied. There is the idea that not everyone's surrender is the same. My surrender is unique. There is a process to finding your surrender. Through this process, is where you develop the most important thing in your life - an everyday, consistent relationship with God.


One thing that God has continually reminded me of since my return from Kenya is that my lack of self discipline has often been the biggest obstacle to me finding my point of surrender. From the small things to the huge things, this is a common thread that God wants to change in me. Right now, I am having to rely on HIS strength, HIS power, and even HIS self discipline. From not biting my nails, to eating healthy, to working out at the gym, to setting a consistent block of time to spend with Him every day - slowly, but surely He is changing my heart.

The truth is you CANNOT find your surrender without losing control. The word surrender means that you relinquish control. Wave your white flag. A friend once told me to just let God write my story because He would write a better story than anything that I could ever write on my own. He doesn't need my input on the plan, contrary to popular belief. I am heading to the gym to work on my self discipline. :)