10 September 2008

Lessons Learned

I have been in a 'funk' for awhile now. Things that I thought were going to happen have not. Things that I did not think would happen have. Living with this 'unsettled feeling' for many months has taken a toll on me spiritually, physically, and emotionally. While I always know (head knowledge) that I have my strong faith in God to fall back on, just in the last few months, I have really begun seeking what God could possibly be teaching me through this valley. I feel like I am getting answers for the first time in awhile.

One lesson that has been loud and clear is that the death of Christ on the Cross was enough. I know that God loves and desires to bless His children. He has blessed my life beyond anything I could ever ask. However, if he chooses to not grant me one more earthly blessing, then what He has already done is enough. I am not entitled to anything else. It would not be unfair of Him to withhold future blessing from my life. He is sovereign. I did not deserve salvation, and God does not owe me anything.

Another difficult, but obvious lesson that God wants me to learn is that He is enough to satisfy my every need. When I do not 'feel' like He is enough to satisfy me, then that is when I have let my priorities get out of line. He is all that I need. There are many other desires, and probably even many other ways that He will bless my life, but He is enough. This sounds so cliché, but making that TRUTH really settle in your heart (not just your head) - that can be life-changing. This has been a daily process, and even a grieving process as I try to let my white knuckle grip go of everything else but Him.

I have recently been blessed through a Bible Study written by Kelly Minter called “No Other Gods.” It was recommended to me by a friend, and I would highly recommend it, as well. In one chapter she mentions this grieving process and how difficult it is sometimes to say goodbye to what we know and value. Being willing to trade in the familiar and trusting that God has our best interest at heart in the midst of uncertainty. She says that sometimes saying goodbye to things, even good things is necessary for our life to blossom. "Certain things choke us, wound us, and bind us in ways that keep us from new hellos. They deserve a farewell. Still we cling because the painful familiar is often more comfortable than the foreign amazing." I was wowed by this statement, but oh, so true! I do not want to miss out on God's foreign amazing because I am clinging to the familiar.

More to come, soon.

 

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